The Weight Of Our Words
We have all learned the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," a phrase we'd use like a shield against hurtful comments. Yet, deep down, we knew it wasn't true; words can wound deeply, leaving scars that outlast physical injuries.
Words have the incredible power to shape who we become. They can lift us so high or dig little holes inside that take forever to fill. So many of us have carried the heavy weight of thoughtless or angry words and are still trying to heal from expressions spoken long ago.
Imagine a young boy being called "lazy" whenever he struggles. Eventually, he might stop trying altogether, not because he doesn't care, but because he starts to believe that voice saying he's not good enough. Or an adolescent girl hearing endless comments about her body: too much of this, not enough of that. As she becomes an adult, shame can colour every reflection she sees in the mirror. These words, even from a place of frustration or concern, don't just disappear. They sink in and become the critical voice they hear inside. Even silence itself can also lead to the deepest wounds. Children who don't hear "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" often fill that void with self-doubt, questioning their worth.
Friendships, too, are built on words, whether we feel safe enough to be ourselves. A joke that cuts a little too deep, a "compliment" that feels more like a put-down, or a secret shared that wasn't theirs to tell, these moments sting. They can make us question: Can I trust them? Am I being too sensitive? Do they even truly see me? These kinds of comments can hurt more than we let on, especially when they come from someone with whom we've shared our laughter, tears, and personal thoughts. Friends are meant to be the ones who build us up, not chip away at our confidence.
In our love relationships, words can create something beautiful, a feeling of safety, a deep connection, and a sense of home. But when kindness is replaced by criticism or if sarcasm becomes the main way of talking, we start to doubt ourselves. Am I too much? Not enough? Is this what love is supposed to feel like? It cuts the deepest when it comes from the person we've opened our hearts to, the one we trust with our most vulnerable parts.
In my book Don't Chase Your Dreams, Allow Them to Come to You, I mention The Four Agreements and how it resonated with me. In this blog, the focus is on the first agreement: Be impeccable with your word. It's a truth that continues to guide how I live, love, and speak.
Don Miguel Ruiz reminds us that our words aren't just empty sounds. They have power. They can build worlds or tear them down. Being "impeccable" doesn't mean we'll never make a mistake. It means speaking honestly, saying what we mean with kindness, avoiding gossip and judging others, and using our voices to lift people up instead of tearing them down.
Words truly matter. What we say and how we say it carries weight and has a real impact. The echo of a single sentence can stay with someone for their entire life.
It's not just about what we say to others. It's also about the words we choose to believe when they're directed at us. We don't have to accept every negative thing someone says. We don't have to keep replaying those old, hurtful voices. Being impeccable with our words also means being kind to ourselves and choosing words of self-compassion.
So today, I encourage you to listen to your voice carefully and ask: What are you sending into the world? What are you saying inside your mind? Be gentle with yourself and with others. Remember this: the words we choose create the life we live, not just for the people around us but for ourselves, too.
Let's try to speak with love. Let's choose words that help and heal, not words that hurt.
