Never Assume
This week's blog continues our journey through The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. So far, we've explored the power of not taking things personally and being impeccable with our word. Now, we arrive at the Third Agreement: Don't Make Assumptions.
This idea might seem obvious at first glance, but we shouldn't assume it. In daily life, however, assumptions often sneak in quietly and shape our experiences without us realizing it.
We are wired to seek meaning in everything by nature. When we don't have all the facts, our minds fill in the blanks. We might guess what someone meant by a particular look, why they didn't respond, or what's happening behind the scenes. Our past experiences, insecurities, and fears often colour these interpretations. Without meaning, we create stories; most of the time, they aren't accurate.
Ruiz points out that this mental habit leads to misunderstandings, tension, and unnecessary pain. It wastes energy and can cause us to hold ourselves and others accountable for things that were never said or meant.
So, how do we begin to break the habit? Ruiz offers a simple yet powerful practice: ask questions and communicate clearly.
If you're unsure what someone means - ask.
If something feels off - check in.
If you need clarity - seek it.
This approach isn't about being overly analytical or suspicious. It's about respecting your peace of mind, your relationships, and your right to clarity. It's about being brave enough to say, "I don't know. Can you tell me more?"
This principle applies to our relationships with others and deeply affects how we approach our goals and dreams.
In my book, Don't Chase Your Dreams Allow Them to Come to You, I explore how the same tendency to assume shows up in how we think our lives should unfold. We often believe there's only one correct path, timeline, or way success should look. We assume we must force things into place. But what if that belief is just another assumption?
Instead of pushing and chasing, Don't Chase Your Dreams invites a gentler approach: setting clear intentions, listening inward, and letting go of rigid expectations. When we release our assumptions about how and when things must happen, we create space for trust, flow, and surprise.
Not making assumptions is more than a mental habit; it's a spiritual practice. It helps us stay focused on what's real instead of getting caught up in what we think might happen. It opens the door to honesty, connection, and the presence that allows our relationships and dreams to unfold more easily.
Let this be a gentle reminder: clarity brings freedom, and curiosity is a form of love.